If you haven't read about my hijinks two weeks ago at the Atlanta airport, refer to the post titled *When the Cops Come All I Hear is whoo whoo whoo* post about 3 below this one....
Everyone out there had better FEAR ME. I'm wanted...
Ok...this time its Baltimore/Washington DC airport on Monday - fixin' to fly out for a week's training in Dallas ~ still here btw...yo, y'all :) ~ and this time, this time damnit, I'm not gonna do anything to get myself suspected. Its amazing what I have to do to get through airport security without being detained:
Step One: I dressed *reasonably* normally for my trip to the airport ~ in other words, I left that damn D-ringed shirt that caused me so much trouble in Atlanta at home (so sad that freedom of personal expression = POSSIBLE TERRORIST THREAT but fuck us Americans anyway). Not much I can do about my hair...and I DID have on my New Rock boots - now I'm not an idiot, I know these boots are LOADED with metal (christ are they ever...*drool*) but I figure, hey...have to take off the boots anyway so they can go through the X-Ray, so I'm good. They don't ding the dingy that way, and I'm golden.
Step Two: I didn't take any sewing equipment. Got tired of explaining the function of a serger to illiterate morons, and I have sewn SOOOO much the last few weeks that I figured I could use a few days off. So, no funky looking machines to arouse their suspicion. I'm golden there, too.
Step Three: I was warned by a friend that when you check in, if the ticketing agent thinks you're acting suspicious, they will code your boarding pass so that you get harassed the whole way though the airport. So to solve that problem, I brought no baggage to check, and I checked in at the self-service machine. No ticketing agent even had a chance to look at my suspicious self and therefore code my boarding pass. I'm feeling really golden here.
Step Four: I used my goddamn government issued LAW ENFORCEMENT BADGE AND ID at all ID checkpoints instead of my driver's license. Yes, I am in law enforcement, for the federal government, and I carry a badge (cool huh? lol...not really). Figured this way, I'm better than golden...I'm the fucking cops!!
Well, what the hell do you suppose happens? Of course we get to checkpoint charlie and we have to completely disrobe to go through the machines. My boots went in alone, followed by my laptop (all alone in the tub...god forfuckingbid you have ANYTHING over it...because while the XRay machines can see through your luggage, they apparantly cannot see through laptop cases), my coat, and my suitcase. Well there is so much shit to go through this machine that my stuff gets backed up behind my coworker's stuff...so Im waiting behind to push all our tubs onto the conveyor belt. Well...I stood there a while waiting because the conveyor belt had stopped...
Why you ask? My fucking boots. They could not tell, in the xray, that these were BOOTS. They werent in anything...just their plastic tub...two boots in a tub. One of the security guards grabs my boots and starts yelling *WHOSE BOOTS ARE THESE?* *WHOSE BOOTS ARE THESE?* and he's handling them like they're fucking explosive. And thats just what he thinks they are. He runs off with my $250 pair of imported fucking bull leather boots to do a BOMB TEST ON THEM. yeah, a bomb test....for reals...
They handle probably 5,000+ passengers a day at that airport. Every day. And this is the first pair of New Rock Boots they'd ever seen? Yeah right. My ass. They either know that people who usually wear those kinds of boots are freaks, and they're ... I dunno, you cant say *racially profiling* because freaks are not a race ... but its something like that. Either that or they are TOTAL MOUTHBREATHING FUCKING IDIOTS. Now while I was wondering If I was ever gonna get my expensive ass boots(to a poor girl like me anyway ~ I'm sure lots of people have more expensive boots than mine), the conveyor belt stops again.
Another idiot starts screaming out *WHOSE SUITCASE IS THIS?* Gee can ya guess whose?
Sooo my suitcase gets torn open again.... everything that was nicely folded and packed in the fashion of the overly obsessive compulsive and anal... is ransacked. A search reveals...a pair of scissors. My good dressmaking shears. Why do I have scissors? Well, most people use a comb to groom their hair...I use scissors. The ransacking plunderer informed me that I couldnt take these scissors on the plane.
Anyway, as of the day I flew back from Atlanta two weeks ago, the FAA had made it legal to bring sharp objects on to your carry on bags. Tools too. Scissors were included as OK items to bring. I checked. So, of course I told the ransacking plunderer that. Then some big, fat, loud.....you know....security guard bitch comes up behind me and says *WE aren't allowing them until this Thursday. * Huh? The FAA says its ok but you're waiting til....Thursday? Why Thursday? Why nearly three weeks after the FAA changed the law? And who the fuck are you to decide this?
I was beside myself at that point. I still didnt have my boots back, and now I can't take the scissors that the law says I actually CAN take. So I said, *Fine, take my good pair of dressmakers shears*. The fatass bitch came up behind me, grabbed them from me and said *I will*. My only response...*Gee, thanks*. I wanted to add *fatass loud....you know....bitch...* but I didn't want to go to jail. At this point I was absolutely beside myself with a blinding fucking red hot rage. No idea how I kept my mouth shut. No idea. Haven't been this angry since...well...two weeks ago at the Atlanta airport.
Finally got the boots back, got handed my ransacked luggage, and off I was sent, minus a very expensive pair of shears...that I was ALLOWED to take, you know, by federal law, but not by the law of that big fat loud bitch. See cuz Monday, I'd have used those scissors to hijack the plane, but come Thursday, I'd have just been using them to cut the pokeys out of my braids. Its all a matter of four days.
Thank god that security guard was there to save the world from my evil tyranny. I fly out of Dallas Thursday. I swear if they give me one SHIT INCH of grief, I'm done traveling. My job can shove it right up their ass. With the metal tip of my New Rock boot.
Guess what I'm getting for Xmas now...
new shears...
:(
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Friday, December 16, 2005
OMFG the Conspiracy Theorists were RIGHT! *you might wanna read this*
So you all heard about the bankruptcy laws changing in October, right?? Well, these new laws make it nearly impossible for American citizens to file bankruptcy out from under their debt. Isn't that a great law? FUCKERS. Anyway....after this law passed I started hearing rumors from my husband and some other whackjob conspiracy theorists (the ones that see a cop firing a gun behind every grassy knoll) that credit card companies, now empowered with this law, were going to up their minimum payments to nearly double what they were before. Why not drag more money out of us? We can't get out from under debt now, so there's nothing we can do about it...we have to take it, once again, in the ass...
Well, I dismissed this...as you can plainly see...as conspiratorial bullcrap, much like the cop behind the grassy knoll theory... No way that's gonna happen, right? Credit card companies can't be that stupid and coldhearted, considering what gas and heating oil is currently costing us...
Right.
Got my credit card bill today. Normally $159 minimum payment (yeah I'm in debt up to my eyeballs...its called surviving grad school...so what of it...like I give a fuck). Minimum payment as of today is.... $217! I looked on the bill, interest rate had not changed (that is this particular company's favorite trick, second only to lowering your credit limit to exactly $100 under what your current balance is, then charging you for being overlimit and demanding the overage immediately. DONT GET AN AT&T UNIVERSAL CARD).
I called the credit card company, and politely asked why my minimum payment went up 50% over last month. I knew what was up as soon as the helpful representative (who spoke clear and concise English...thank you very much) mentioned that the laws had changed in October...
I stopped her right there, didn't even let her finish because I knew where this was going... and my politeness had already run away and hid in a fucking closet. I said, *So, you're telling me that since I can no longer file bankruptcy out from under this debt, you've taken the opportunity to screw me by increasing my minimum payment by 50% each month?* Well, she explained, that was not the case, they were instead doing this as a *service* to their customers, as they are concerned that it takes too many years to pay off credit card debt.
Mandatory minimum payment increases are now a SERVICE to me? Great. As a service to my eBay bidders, my auctions will now start at a minimum price of $40. Doesn't sound like customer fucking SERVICE, does it? *Dont worry, Im not raising my starting prices for real haha*
Well, I knew about all this beforehand, having talked, as I said, with my husband and the various *there's a cop shooting from the grassy knoll* people. I heard from these types that credit card companies were the major lobbying force behind the bankruptcy law changes, and that as a concession to congress to get them to pass the laws, they had to do *something* to make it take less than 40 years to pay off a $10,000 credit card debt. Their answer? Require us to pay more! GENIUS! Again I blew this all off as bs, like I said...how could anyone allow the credit card companies to lobby to take away our rights of debt forgiveness...its just not right, so there's no way that happened...
Well, omfg...the conspiracy theorists were right. And now I wanna know who the fuck that cop is I see shooting from the grassy knoll...
*as a post-comment, how to fix this problem if you run into it: Credit card companies are required to have you agree to certain terms and conditions if you want to have a credit card. Your minimum payment is defined in those terms and CANNOT BE CHANGED until your card expires, without your agreement. When they get ready to raise your minimum payment, the credit card company MUST present you with new terms and conditions. Most people figure that there is nothing they can do about it, and ignore it. WRONG! Your terms and conditions are like a lease, when they change your minimum payment, its like your leasing agent coming up to you and saying, well, rent was $400, now we decided its $600. You'd never let that happen because you have a lease, right? Same with the terms. They will send you the terms and conditions. If you don't respond to the terms within a set period of time, this constitutes your AGREEMENT to the new terms. If you get a new terms and conditions specifying a raised minimum payment, or a raised interest rate, or anything you dont like...call them and DECLINE THE TERMS IMMEDIATELY. What happens then? Well, nothing until your credit card expires. They can't change anything until then, just like in a lease. So they can't raise your minimum. The down side? Once your card expires, the account is closed (like moving out of your apartment at the end of a lease), you can no longer use the card, and you have to continue to pay off the account balance...but here is the good part...according to the terms you agreed to. Remember, as long as you owe them money, they are gonna keep trying to trick you by sending you new terms and conditions...read them! Or pay attention to your bill.
Fuck them, fuck George W. Bush, fuck gas companies, fuck heating oil companies, fuck everyone who tries to hang a bucket everyfuckingwhere I leak. I'm tired of all of you.
Well, I dismissed this...as you can plainly see...as conspiratorial bullcrap, much like the cop behind the grassy knoll theory... No way that's gonna happen, right? Credit card companies can't be that stupid and coldhearted, considering what gas and heating oil is currently costing us...
Right.
Got my credit card bill today. Normally $159 minimum payment (yeah I'm in debt up to my eyeballs...its called surviving grad school...so what of it...like I give a fuck). Minimum payment as of today is.... $217! I looked on the bill, interest rate had not changed (that is this particular company's favorite trick, second only to lowering your credit limit to exactly $100 under what your current balance is, then charging you for being overlimit and demanding the overage immediately. DONT GET AN AT&T UNIVERSAL CARD).
I called the credit card company, and politely asked why my minimum payment went up 50% over last month. I knew what was up as soon as the helpful representative (who spoke clear and concise English...thank you very much) mentioned that the laws had changed in October...
I stopped her right there, didn't even let her finish because I knew where this was going... and my politeness had already run away and hid in a fucking closet. I said, *So, you're telling me that since I can no longer file bankruptcy out from under this debt, you've taken the opportunity to screw me by increasing my minimum payment by 50% each month?* Well, she explained, that was not the case, they were instead doing this as a *service* to their customers, as they are concerned that it takes too many years to pay off credit card debt.
Mandatory minimum payment increases are now a SERVICE to me? Great. As a service to my eBay bidders, my auctions will now start at a minimum price of $40. Doesn't sound like customer fucking SERVICE, does it? *Dont worry, Im not raising my starting prices for real haha*
Well, I knew about all this beforehand, having talked, as I said, with my husband and the various *there's a cop shooting from the grassy knoll* people. I heard from these types that credit card companies were the major lobbying force behind the bankruptcy law changes, and that as a concession to congress to get them to pass the laws, they had to do *something* to make it take less than 40 years to pay off a $10,000 credit card debt. Their answer? Require us to pay more! GENIUS! Again I blew this all off as bs, like I said...how could anyone allow the credit card companies to lobby to take away our rights of debt forgiveness...its just not right, so there's no way that happened...
Well, omfg...the conspiracy theorists were right. And now I wanna know who the fuck that cop is I see shooting from the grassy knoll...
*as a post-comment, how to fix this problem if you run into it: Credit card companies are required to have you agree to certain terms and conditions if you want to have a credit card. Your minimum payment is defined in those terms and CANNOT BE CHANGED until your card expires, without your agreement. When they get ready to raise your minimum payment, the credit card company MUST present you with new terms and conditions. Most people figure that there is nothing they can do about it, and ignore it. WRONG! Your terms and conditions are like a lease, when they change your minimum payment, its like your leasing agent coming up to you and saying, well, rent was $400, now we decided its $600. You'd never let that happen because you have a lease, right? Same with the terms. They will send you the terms and conditions. If you don't respond to the terms within a set period of time, this constitutes your AGREEMENT to the new terms. If you get a new terms and conditions specifying a raised minimum payment, or a raised interest rate, or anything you dont like...call them and DECLINE THE TERMS IMMEDIATELY. What happens then? Well, nothing until your credit card expires. They can't change anything until then, just like in a lease. So they can't raise your minimum. The down side? Once your card expires, the account is closed (like moving out of your apartment at the end of a lease), you can no longer use the card, and you have to continue to pay off the account balance...but here is the good part...according to the terms you agreed to. Remember, as long as you owe them money, they are gonna keep trying to trick you by sending you new terms and conditions...read them! Or pay attention to your bill.
Fuck them, fuck George W. Bush, fuck gas companies, fuck heating oil companies, fuck everyone who tries to hang a bucket everyfuckingwhere I leak. I'm tired of all of you.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
I Feel Like a Sellout and a Whore...
But I have to do it.
I joined LiveJournal, and also kinda *did something* with my otherwise unused MySpace account. I advertised my new auctions last night....UGH.... retched hell...in some DIY/auction/goth communities that I found. I am also doing some research and find even more communities to whore my clothing in. Again, everyone else in DIY does this. And having no choice but to do something that follows *the crowd* leaves me feeling really...uck. Just...uck.
But I did it. Had to be done. That's how business has to run, at least for me. I have GOT to get the word out that I'm here... there are those sellers that don't have to do JACK SHIT to get great business...again, as it seems with all things, I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE SELLERS. So yeah... I'm an LJ whore... a MySpace whore... and now I'm just like everyone else. Begging you...begging...begging...you to please please please please bid on my items.
I feel like I could vomit. I feel so... well, I have some other feelings on the matter but I'm going to keep them to myself for a change, before I offend. But I had no choice. Not if I want to take this to the next level...
Get used to seeing me around. Oh by the way... buy my product... There's a link on the right, I think. If not, there soon will be :S
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
It's Like a Spiral, only not so much....
Okay then, I've been sitting here staring at this blog editor for about 10 minutes. I have a lot on my mind today, and I have a lot of things inside me that really need to come out. But here I sit staring at this blog editor. Why? Oh I guess there are a lot of reasons. Am I gonna say what those reasons are? Probably not. Because I'm just sitting here staring at this blog editor.
Rode the train in the morning, was sitting thinking of corset ideas (my life is sooo interesting...can you tell?) and just staring out the window, watching the world go by. The train is a nice ride. Very relaxing usually. Today I sat up front near the engine, usually I sit in the back in the *quiet car* - no talking, no cell phones, no noise, you get the idea. I think after today that I'm going back to the quiet car. I hate sitting listening to people talk on cell phones, and these days, thats all you get, so to block out the cell phone chatter this morning on the train I went ahead and plugged in to the MP3 player and cranked some Lamb of God at maximum volume...(and really, who the FUCK are these people talking to on their cell phones at 7am???? If someone called me at 7am, there better have been a death in the family, because if not, I can guarantee you there's fixin' to be one). Ironic that to get the quiet I needed, I had to play Lamb of God at full volume....maybe its not so much the quiet I crave...I just don't want my space (even my aural space) to be invaded by other people.
In any case, I was sitting on the train, enveloped in the turmoil generated by Randy Blythe screaming in my head ~ ahhh the serenity :) ~ thinking about corset ideas. And about how great it would be to NOT be on that train but rather at home, working for myself as my own boss...hahahah yeah right. Pipe dreaming I believe is what they call that. It really depresses me. It depresses me to read the bios of others who do full time as I do in my spare time...how do they do it? How does anyone generate any acutual, palpable, respectable income working from home? Especially in DIY. Christ. My best ever sales months, BEST EVER, didn't equal up to one paycheck that I make sitting in this cubicle hell. And right now, I'm not even having a string of really great sales months. I'm just squeaking out powerseller status by a hope and prayer right now, I'm on the cusp of getting the dreaded *your account no longer meets bronze powerseller status* email... Of course some of it is my fault ~ I've been travelling sooooooo much with work, my commute time has doubled since I've moved to the suburbs ~ I don't have the TIME to put into my gear that I would love to have. I get maybe 4 hours a night of free time, 5 nights a week. 20 hours a week is not enough for me to make even 2 items. Not even close. So yeah, my time is rapidly constricting on me. And if you can't put out product, you can't sell it. Duh. I've wracked my brain trying to figure out how I can solve this problem short of not eating or sleeping any more, but I am fresh out of solutions. The only real solution is to quit my day job and jump into sewing full time...
The pause was me stopping to wipe my eyes...I tend to tear up when I laugh that hard...
*sigh* its the proverbial rock and a hard place. You want something different for your life than what you have, but your life is structured in such a way as to prohibit any deviance from the course you have already set. This is why so many of us end up alcoholics, or worse yet, statistics....
I also wonder why so many DIY bidders/buyers avoid me like the plague...if any of you reading this fit this description (which would be kind of odd that you'd be reading this, but stranger things have happened...) drop me an email explaining this phenomenon. Seriously. I want to know what the hell I'm doing wrong. Drop me a line at freak@angrylittledeadgirl.com. Be honest. I can take it, believe me.
I have a lot of spare time at work (which could be put to soooo much better use...) so I watch a lot of ebay...I watch A LOT. I see just about everything that goes on. And I see a lot of bidders who just go nuts on other auctions...but I've never seen them on my auctions. Yeah, I know, my gear doesn't appeal to everyone, but there are other sellers out there whose tastes and styles are very similar to mine, and these bidders, who go nuts on those seller's items (I can explain the *go nuts* thing in a minute, if i remember to) seem to not even know I exist. I mean it's strange...they bid (and bid high, which kind of = *going nuts*) on the work of these other DIY sellers but somehow manage to completely miss me. Hmmm. Maybe I've overexaggerated my presence in the market. I see a lot of sellers getting 1000 + hits on their auctions on a 7 day auction. I am lucky to get 350 hits in 7 days. Why is that? Why am I not being seen? Or worse yet, if I'm being seen, why am I being passed over? I just don't know...
I need to take aNGrYGiRL Gear to the next level. But I have no idea how to accomplish that given my time constraints and my apparent lack of market presence. I wonder, do people lack confidence in my sewing ability? Haha maybe I gotta add something in my about me page about how I've been *sewing since I was a little girl* or how *my grandma taught me to sew* or *I started sewing by making barbie clothes*....bah... I just hate that shit. It's so...I dunno, everyone just does it and the simple fact that everyone does it makes it absolutely repellent to me. I'd just love to scream out *I can fucking sew!!* .... hey wait this is MY fucking blog....
I CAN FUCKING SEW!!
Grand, now the three people who read this, and who already knew that, know it even louder than before...heh. No really, I have a sick innate talent for sewing. I guess I'm THAT anal and THAT much of a perfectionist and SOOOO left-brained that it fits my given abilities perfectly. I can also make any computer my bitch ;) And do math. Its all the same sort of thing. It's just something I can do, and do well, and do right. There's not much more that I CAN do well and do right, so I gotta take ownership of the few talents I have :)
Yeah so I'm kinda really down. I don't know what more to do to take this beyond...to ratchet this shit up a notch or two so that maybe, maybe...maybe....MAYBE...if I devoted myself to it full time, that I could possibly eek out half a semblance of an income at it. I guess I'm just going to have to work harder to A) convince people that I'm for real...that my work is worthy of a bid, and worthy of someone's hard earned money B) get some FUCKING ATTENTION. HELLO I'M HERE WHY AREN'T YOU SEEING ME??...that sort of thing. Not just attention in general, LOL. I draw enough of that just walking down the street and C) find the time somehow, somewhere, some way...to get out more product without sacrificing even a fucking TIDBIT of quality...
Just like I said...a pipe dream. The kind I will continue to have every Monday thru Friday morning, sitting on the train, watching the world pass by.
Rode the train in the morning, was sitting thinking of corset ideas (my life is sooo interesting...can you tell?) and just staring out the window, watching the world go by. The train is a nice ride. Very relaxing usually. Today I sat up front near the engine, usually I sit in the back in the *quiet car* - no talking, no cell phones, no noise, you get the idea. I think after today that I'm going back to the quiet car. I hate sitting listening to people talk on cell phones, and these days, thats all you get, so to block out the cell phone chatter this morning on the train I went ahead and plugged in to the MP3 player and cranked some Lamb of God at maximum volume...(and really, who the FUCK are these people talking to on their cell phones at 7am???? If someone called me at 7am, there better have been a death in the family, because if not, I can guarantee you there's fixin' to be one). Ironic that to get the quiet I needed, I had to play Lamb of God at full volume....maybe its not so much the quiet I crave...I just don't want my space (even my aural space) to be invaded by other people.
In any case, I was sitting on the train, enveloped in the turmoil generated by Randy Blythe screaming in my head ~ ahhh the serenity :) ~ thinking about corset ideas. And about how great it would be to NOT be on that train but rather at home, working for myself as my own boss...hahahah yeah right. Pipe dreaming I believe is what they call that. It really depresses me. It depresses me to read the bios of others who do full time as I do in my spare time...how do they do it? How does anyone generate any acutual, palpable, respectable income working from home? Especially in DIY. Christ. My best ever sales months, BEST EVER, didn't equal up to one paycheck that I make sitting in this cubicle hell. And right now, I'm not even having a string of really great sales months. I'm just squeaking out powerseller status by a hope and prayer right now, I'm on the cusp of getting the dreaded *your account no longer meets bronze powerseller status* email... Of course some of it is my fault ~ I've been travelling sooooooo much with work, my commute time has doubled since I've moved to the suburbs ~ I don't have the TIME to put into my gear that I would love to have. I get maybe 4 hours a night of free time, 5 nights a week. 20 hours a week is not enough for me to make even 2 items. Not even close. So yeah, my time is rapidly constricting on me. And if you can't put out product, you can't sell it. Duh. I've wracked my brain trying to figure out how I can solve this problem short of not eating or sleeping any more, but I am fresh out of solutions. The only real solution is to quit my day job and jump into sewing full time...
The pause was me stopping to wipe my eyes...I tend to tear up when I laugh that hard...
*sigh* its the proverbial rock and a hard place. You want something different for your life than what you have, but your life is structured in such a way as to prohibit any deviance from the course you have already set. This is why so many of us end up alcoholics, or worse yet, statistics....
I also wonder why so many DIY bidders/buyers avoid me like the plague...if any of you reading this fit this description (which would be kind of odd that you'd be reading this, but stranger things have happened...) drop me an email explaining this phenomenon. Seriously. I want to know what the hell I'm doing wrong. Drop me a line at freak@angrylittledeadgirl.com. Be honest. I can take it, believe me.
I have a lot of spare time at work (which could be put to soooo much better use...) so I watch a lot of ebay...I watch A LOT. I see just about everything that goes on. And I see a lot of bidders who just go nuts on other auctions...but I've never seen them on my auctions. Yeah, I know, my gear doesn't appeal to everyone, but there are other sellers out there whose tastes and styles are very similar to mine, and these bidders, who go nuts on those seller's items (I can explain the *go nuts* thing in a minute, if i remember to) seem to not even know I exist. I mean it's strange...they bid (and bid high, which kind of = *going nuts*) on the work of these other DIY sellers but somehow manage to completely miss me. Hmmm. Maybe I've overexaggerated my presence in the market. I see a lot of sellers getting 1000 + hits on their auctions on a 7 day auction. I am lucky to get 350 hits in 7 days. Why is that? Why am I not being seen? Or worse yet, if I'm being seen, why am I being passed over? I just don't know...
I need to take aNGrYGiRL Gear to the next level. But I have no idea how to accomplish that given my time constraints and my apparent lack of market presence. I wonder, do people lack confidence in my sewing ability? Haha maybe I gotta add something in my about me page about how I've been *sewing since I was a little girl* or how *my grandma taught me to sew* or *I started sewing by making barbie clothes*....bah... I just hate that shit. It's so...I dunno, everyone just does it and the simple fact that everyone does it makes it absolutely repellent to me. I'd just love to scream out *I can fucking sew!!* .... hey wait this is MY fucking blog....
I CAN FUCKING SEW!!
Grand, now the three people who read this, and who already knew that, know it even louder than before...heh. No really, I have a sick innate talent for sewing. I guess I'm THAT anal and THAT much of a perfectionist and SOOOO left-brained that it fits my given abilities perfectly. I can also make any computer my bitch ;) And do math. Its all the same sort of thing. It's just something I can do, and do well, and do right. There's not much more that I CAN do well and do right, so I gotta take ownership of the few talents I have :)
Yeah so I'm kinda really down. I don't know what more to do to take this beyond...to ratchet this shit up a notch or two so that maybe, maybe...maybe....MAYBE...if I devoted myself to it full time, that I could possibly eek out half a semblance of an income at it. I guess I'm just going to have to work harder to A) convince people that I'm for real...that my work is worthy of a bid, and worthy of someone's hard earned money B) get some FUCKING ATTENTION. HELLO I'M HERE WHY AREN'T YOU SEEING ME??...that sort of thing. Not just attention in general, LOL. I draw enough of that just walking down the street and C) find the time somehow, somewhere, some way...to get out more product without sacrificing even a fucking TIDBIT of quality...
Just like I said...a pipe dream. The kind I will continue to have every Monday thru Friday morning, sitting on the train, watching the world pass by.
Monday, December 05, 2005
When the Cops Come All I Hear Is *whoo whoo whoo*
Please don't think I listen to that kind of music...it's just one of the songs that my husband's Xbox plays a LOT...hahah
Yeah I've been a bit of a rabble rouser lately. Dunno what the fuck my problem is. Almost got arrested at the Atlanta airport...the security guard lady apparantly told some another guard that I was a *psycho*...of course not in front of me (because I'm a psycho) but I was there with about 6 other coworkers and they heard her say it. It all started because I had D-rings on my shirt, and suspicious looking luggage (its called a SERGER...ugh I get tired of explaining it at airports). Well the serger set them off...then I dinged when I walked through the metal detector (I know better than to wear that damn shirt, I was having an off moment). Then the next thing you know I'm hustled into a clear plastic hallway with some clear plastic door and I'm not allowed to touch my luggage (they had special people bring it over CAREFULLY so that it could be searched). Well to make a long story short, I've never been treated like a TERRORIST at an airport before, so when they started shouting their instructions at me, in garbled fucking ebonics no less, I had NO idea what the hell they were asking me to do. I couldnt understand a fucking word so I was trying to figure it out ~ I happen to speak very clear and concise ENGLISH...wish all americans did ~ so I'm trying to figure out what the fuck is going on...they are literally restraining me from grabbing my luggage ~ they asked something like is anyone traveling with you who can watch your luggage...or something??? I don't really know...I pointed at a coworker and said she's with me but she can't carry all that ~ a serger and a sewing machine AND a carry on bag ~ too much stuff ~ so I went to grab one to help out and that's when all hell broke loose. Like I said, I've always been treated like a whitebread american citizen in the airports before, especially because I carry a badge...lol...so I didnt know I couldnt touch my luggage once I was a terrorist suspect....
Anyway they whisk me off to an area...three people carrying my luggage in tow...and I swear...the security guard did NOT speak english...she points at a mat on the ground with foot marks on it...mumbles something about standing on the mat, so I do, presuming my feet should go where the feets marks are on the mat...well, one foot was half off the foot mark and the guard yells...GET YOUR FOOT ON THE MATCHING SPOT ON THE MAT...I was like OOOOOKAY christ. Then there were mumblings about put your arms up...So I did. Apparantly you're supposed to turn your palms up when you do this, which was not expressed to me, so the bitch HITS ME in the arm with her little metal detector palm and yelled....PALMS UP. Yeah, hits me. Because I'm a psycho. I don't know at what level of this retardation I became the psycho...maybe they pegged me as such before I ever went through the machine because they were busy judging books by their covers...but whatever... I got the full pat down, everything. I'm suprised I didn't get a cavity search.... and I got to spend another 10 minutes explaining the functionality of a serger...
See because I am a terrorist. With a serger. Fly this plane to Cuba or I'll....sew you all fucking jackets!!! Nooooooo....
I find it ironic because that day was the first day you were allowed to start carrying sharp objects in your carry on bags again. The FAA has decided that sharp objects do not represent the biggest threat to air travel. At this point I take the wayback machine to the past....and seem to recall that the 9/11 planes were hijacked with....boxcutters??? Are those not small sharp objects? Now, shoes and laptops...those are the BIGGEST dangers to air travel. One asshole one time tries *and fails* to light some bomb or firecracker or something lodged in his shoe...and shoes are suddenly the biggest threat to air travel. I'm suprised they don't make us fly nude. You cant wear your shoes or jacket through the metal detector any more...
Well, anyway, I made it home. And didn't come up on any federal charges for obstruction of justice or terrorism...or failure to understand ebonics, or anything like that.
And then on Saturday, I went to Best Buy. I was looking for a processor fan for my computer....it was running too hot and kept shutting down and I looked and lo and behold...the fan is not turning...duh... So yeah, I went to Best Buy, and they didnt have it (its socket A, its practically legacy equipment) but they referred me to a geek store that might have it. I had to make a right out of this huge strip mall parking lot. and as I'm driving down the parking lot, parallel to the road I need to get on, I see NO opportunity to turn right. No exits. None. So I get all the way to end of the strip mall (there are like 10 major stores all in a row at this thing...so its like half a mile long with NO right turns out of it) and I see a light to the left that I can turn right on. Go to make the left out of the parking lot to go to the light and...NO LEFT TURN? What the fuck? Like they KNOW you need to turn right at that light and are gonna do everything possible to ensure you never ever ever leave their lot. So I looked around real good, didn't see any of our fine law enforcement officials, and went left anyway.
When the cops come, all I hear is *whoo whoo whoo*
Fucker was in an unmarked, regular person car... *sigh* Officer came to the window - an african american lady who... guess what... spoke in clear and concise english THANK YOU VERY MUCH...and she comes to the window and starts her spiel and all I say is, * I know, I know*. No argument from me, you caught me.
Oh and did you know you can get a ticket for not immediately presenting your license and registration information? I mean IMMEDIATELY. Like they come to the window and you shove it in their face right then because if you waste 10 seconds of their time looking for it (like I did...) you get a ticket. I was lucky and got a warning on the 10 seconds of her life I wasted. But I didn't get so lucky on the left turn. $80!! Jeebus H!! I got caught speeding last year (90 in a 55...heh) and only paid $170! $80 for a left turn! I asked the nice, clear speaking officer why exactly it was that I couldnt turn right anywhere onto the street I needed. Her answer: People were turning right out of the parking lot and not going fast enough and getting T-boned by oncoming traffic. She said they had a wreck out of that parking lot every day til they closed it off.
People, if you can't turn right out of a freaking parking lot onto a busy road without getting hit.... you deserve a T-boning. Its called natural selection. If you are that inept, do us all a favor and put your car in the garage and walk. Seriously.
So how do you get out of the Best Buy parking lot? You have to go behind the buildings to a residential area that's nice and safe with no chance of being T-boned and apparantly at some point it spits you out onto the street you wanted.... but I bet you still have to make a right turn there somewhere....
I'm a psycho....heh
bitches.
Yeah I've been a bit of a rabble rouser lately. Dunno what the fuck my problem is. Almost got arrested at the Atlanta airport...the security guard lady apparantly told some another guard that I was a *psycho*...of course not in front of me (because I'm a psycho) but I was there with about 6 other coworkers and they heard her say it. It all started because I had D-rings on my shirt, and suspicious looking luggage (its called a SERGER...ugh I get tired of explaining it at airports). Well the serger set them off...then I dinged when I walked through the metal detector (I know better than to wear that damn shirt, I was having an off moment). Then the next thing you know I'm hustled into a clear plastic hallway with some clear plastic door and I'm not allowed to touch my luggage (they had special people bring it over CAREFULLY so that it could be searched). Well to make a long story short, I've never been treated like a TERRORIST at an airport before, so when they started shouting their instructions at me, in garbled fucking ebonics no less, I had NO idea what the hell they were asking me to do. I couldnt understand a fucking word so I was trying to figure it out ~ I happen to speak very clear and concise ENGLISH...wish all americans did ~ so I'm trying to figure out what the fuck is going on...they are literally restraining me from grabbing my luggage ~ they asked something like is anyone traveling with you who can watch your luggage...or something??? I don't really know...I pointed at a coworker and said she's with me but she can't carry all that ~ a serger and a sewing machine AND a carry on bag ~ too much stuff ~ so I went to grab one to help out and that's when all hell broke loose. Like I said, I've always been treated like a whitebread american citizen in the airports before, especially because I carry a badge...lol...so I didnt know I couldnt touch my luggage once I was a terrorist suspect....
Anyway they whisk me off to an area...three people carrying my luggage in tow...and I swear...the security guard did NOT speak english...she points at a mat on the ground with foot marks on it...mumbles something about standing on the mat, so I do, presuming my feet should go where the feets marks are on the mat...well, one foot was half off the foot mark and the guard yells...GET YOUR FOOT ON THE MATCHING SPOT ON THE MAT...I was like OOOOOKAY christ. Then there were mumblings about put your arms up...So I did. Apparantly you're supposed to turn your palms up when you do this, which was not expressed to me, so the bitch HITS ME in the arm with her little metal detector palm and yelled....PALMS UP. Yeah, hits me. Because I'm a psycho. I don't know at what level of this retardation I became the psycho...maybe they pegged me as such before I ever went through the machine because they were busy judging books by their covers...but whatever... I got the full pat down, everything. I'm suprised I didn't get a cavity search.... and I got to spend another 10 minutes explaining the functionality of a serger...
See because I am a terrorist. With a serger. Fly this plane to Cuba or I'll....sew you all fucking jackets!!! Nooooooo....
I find it ironic because that day was the first day you were allowed to start carrying sharp objects in your carry on bags again. The FAA has decided that sharp objects do not represent the biggest threat to air travel. At this point I take the wayback machine to the past....and seem to recall that the 9/11 planes were hijacked with....boxcutters??? Are those not small sharp objects? Now, shoes and laptops...those are the BIGGEST dangers to air travel. One asshole one time tries *and fails* to light some bomb or firecracker or something lodged in his shoe...and shoes are suddenly the biggest threat to air travel. I'm suprised they don't make us fly nude. You cant wear your shoes or jacket through the metal detector any more...
Well, anyway, I made it home. And didn't come up on any federal charges for obstruction of justice or terrorism...or failure to understand ebonics, or anything like that.
And then on Saturday, I went to Best Buy. I was looking for a processor fan for my computer....it was running too hot and kept shutting down and I looked and lo and behold...the fan is not turning...duh... So yeah, I went to Best Buy, and they didnt have it (its socket A, its practically legacy equipment) but they referred me to a geek store that might have it. I had to make a right out of this huge strip mall parking lot. and as I'm driving down the parking lot, parallel to the road I need to get on, I see NO opportunity to turn right. No exits. None. So I get all the way to end of the strip mall (there are like 10 major stores all in a row at this thing...so its like half a mile long with NO right turns out of it) and I see a light to the left that I can turn right on. Go to make the left out of the parking lot to go to the light and...NO LEFT TURN? What the fuck? Like they KNOW you need to turn right at that light and are gonna do everything possible to ensure you never ever ever leave their lot. So I looked around real good, didn't see any of our fine law enforcement officials, and went left anyway.
When the cops come, all I hear is *whoo whoo whoo*
Fucker was in an unmarked, regular person car... *sigh* Officer came to the window - an african american lady who... guess what... spoke in clear and concise english THANK YOU VERY MUCH...and she comes to the window and starts her spiel and all I say is, * I know, I know*. No argument from me, you caught me.
Oh and did you know you can get a ticket for not immediately presenting your license and registration information? I mean IMMEDIATELY. Like they come to the window and you shove it in their face right then because if you waste 10 seconds of their time looking for it (like I did...) you get a ticket. I was lucky and got a warning on the 10 seconds of her life I wasted. But I didn't get so lucky on the left turn. $80!! Jeebus H!! I got caught speeding last year (90 in a 55...heh) and only paid $170! $80 for a left turn! I asked the nice, clear speaking officer why exactly it was that I couldnt turn right anywhere onto the street I needed. Her answer: People were turning right out of the parking lot and not going fast enough and getting T-boned by oncoming traffic. She said they had a wreck out of that parking lot every day til they closed it off.
People, if you can't turn right out of a freaking parking lot onto a busy road without getting hit.... you deserve a T-boning. Its called natural selection. If you are that inept, do us all a favor and put your car in the garage and walk. Seriously.
So how do you get out of the Best Buy parking lot? You have to go behind the buildings to a residential area that's nice and safe with no chance of being T-boned and apparantly at some point it spits you out onto the street you wanted.... but I bet you still have to make a right turn there somewhere....
I'm a psycho....heh
bitches.
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