Monday... *sigh*

Oh my freaking God, its Monday AGAIN...how does this keep happening? I feel like I accomplished nothing over the weekend. In reality, I finished a straight jacket, started on a commissioned hoodie, made a new corset, went live with the D.Y.O Shrugs page on my website, designed and ordered some business cards...went out to eat Saturday night, got plastered, got laid...heh...

Yet I feel like I wasted my weekend. I seems I should have been able to accomplish more with that treasured 48 hours. I really am too hard on myself. And I know this, obviously, because I just wrote it down, yet I can't seem to get the idea to actually SINK into my head that I work enough...hell I work TOO much...but I feel always like I'm five seconds from being buried alive in my work ~ both works ~ and that if I'd just APPLY myself, I could get ahead of the work avalanche. So I work harder, and harder and harder...

My head is so messed up.

At any rate, that weekend passed and now I have to endure 5 more days of hell before I can get a stab at making better use of another one.

I remember when I was a kid, my mom would always say, *Don't be in a hurry to grow up...being a kid is a LOT more fun than being an adult, and once you're an adult, you're an adult FOREVER...* I used to think she was nuts...because I was kid and I wanted to grow up...but guess what, she was right. God damn it. God double damn it, I hate it when she's right....

All I have to look forward to in my life is work...8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year, every year until the day I retire...HAHAHA retire, like I'm not already almost 40 years old with not one fucking red cent saved toward retirement...or die. And I'm not the only one out there living this wretched, horrific monotony. This is the life of the typical American adult.

Day in day out day in day out...get up, get a shower, go to work, work, go home, work, go to bed. get up, get a shower, go to work, work, go home, work, go to bed. Wash rinse repeat. Its like Groundhog Day (that lame movie with Bill Murray) only worse, cuz this ain't no movie... It's enough to make you wonder what the FUCK this is for. I don't need fancy, expensive shit...ok I need gasoline, and that, my friends, is EXPENSIVE SHIT...but really, I'm not out to own a Mercedes or a big fucking house in a gated community. I want to eat, have a place to live where I'm not afraid of being shot at, drive a Jeep that runs, and maybe have a few extra bucks to go out to eat on Saturday night, get plastered, and get laid...

This can't be all there is to this...