Did you know I work at ground zero? Yep right next to the US capitol. I can see it out my window *waves at US Capitol*. I'm not so comfortable working at ground zero...I have toyed with sewing a dress thats all black, with a big red and white round target on my ass and wearing it to work. Feds are so stuffy tho, they probably wouldn't like that too much. I've recently had nightmares where I'm down walking past the capitol and I look up just long enough to see two bombs dropping out of the sky, one on each side of the dome. In these dreams I'm like, OH SHIT *obviously...wouldn't that be anyone's reaction?* and being glad that I was far enough away that the explosions wouldn't get me...only to realize seconds later when the blinding light flashed that the bombs were nuclear warheads...and that's about the time I jump straight out of bed with my heart racing at about 239023457 miles an hour.
You know planes don't fly overhead in DC. Maybe you heard about the cesna on the news that was *oops* flying over DC last week and the jet fighters had to bring him down, firing warning flares across his nose *which i think would make me shit my pants if i were a pilot...but ummm id hope id be smart enough not to fly over DC airspace*. At any rate, there is rarely any jet noise in DC...no planes or helicopters overhead...no vapor trails in the air from planes. Its wild but you get used to it soon enough. Then you go visit a friend far away....and a plane goes overhead and you about jump through your skin wondering WTF a plane is doing there...duh. Its worse tho when you DO hear planes and helicopters overhead in DC...sitting there in my apt, sewing, and all of a sudden the helicoptor comes zipping by overhead...you wonder if its finally happened, if DC is under attack...or maybe its just a flight for life or a police helicoptor...but you never really know...and occasionally you hear the fighters fly over...and thats even eerier cuz you cant write those off as flight for life or the cops...
so thats the nonsense. back to the staff meeting....*waves*
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Not that you need something else to frighten you, but....
Think of this scenario.
A passenger jet is flying in your direction. All of the crew and all of the passengers have passed out, effected by an alien virus that only effects people who have site. The only person left conscious is a blind, ex-radio jock, who couldn't land a drunk nymph, passed out on a desert island, if the only choices were between him, and getting screwed by a porcupine with a bad rash, let alone a fucking jet plane!
He has only 15 minutes to either figure out how to contact the tower for help, or... go to the aid of the group of stricken Dallas Cowboy's cheer leaders in first class, that just might have some kind of restrictive clothing, uh... something that just might block the flow of O2 to their, uh... lungs.
He knows where 1st class is, but remember, he was a radio jock, so he is kind of stupid enough not to know that planes are flown from the cockpit, and not carried by big magical flying dragons. (I saw a few of those after my surgery! Morphine! Gotta love it!)
Did I mention that one of the passengers was flying to D.C. to go before Congress and the entire world to present his new "Zero-Point Energy" machine that runs on free flowing particle beams that occur naturally and infinitely throughout the entire universe and have absolutely no ill effects on anything by it's use. It will end the need for energy generated from oil, coal and nuclear sources, and will be provided to every person on this earth absolutely free. And within 3 years it will give us the capability to travel the stars and find other worlds and civilizations that help us to grow and finally understand the reason for our existence.
Oh, and that alien virus. It turns out that it only knocks you out for about 4 hours, at which time you wake up, totally cured of any disease that is, or will ever be known to mankind. Only problem is, the virus itself only is passed on through people that are awake, and the last people to have that bug on earth, are on that plane. The effects are the same for blind people, but take 24 hours to incubate.
Something to think about, huh? YOU . . . ARE . . . WELCOME! Thanks for coming, drive safely. Don't forget to tip your servers. GOODNIGHT!
I hadn't really considered that scenario, but really...the odds of it happening are quite slim. Alien viruses??? Zero point energy??? sure i can buy all that. but a blind DJ? who ever heard of that???? ;)
Hmmm maybe a nap IS in order.
***
"Blind people may feel better - but they can't see for shit. And what's vinyl?" - anonymous
*imagines KH in corset*
*vows never to be 508 compliant*
:)
*imagining CG in corset* - There is a definite winner and a definite loser in this trade! OH GOD! I'm sooooo sorry CG. Nightmares for weeks, and will you be able to keep food down?
*Speaking of Blind people not being able to see for shit, with even the very slightest chance of seeing KH in a corset, darkness is a blessing! *open lids, insert hot poker!*
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