It is soooo fucking cold out. Oops I said fuck *waits for blog to disappear again*....
Maybe its just me, but its like last week was sunny and pretty and then boom...its cold, rainy and depressing...winter is upon us again...yay *whimper*. I had to break out the leather this morning for the commute to work and I was STILL COLD! I have a train pass made of plastic, like a credit card only a bit thicker, that I keep in my pocket. I pulled it out to use it, put it back in the pocket, and the damn card was so cold against my skin I about jumped.
My morning went thusly: run at top speed to car, crank up heat...arrive at train station, run at top speed to train...get on train, shiver...get off train, run at top speed to front door of work...arrive at desk, leave leather on, and turn on portable heater. My plan is to live next to portable heater until its time to reverse the run back home. You'd think with all that running I'd have warmed up.
Oh yeah and the furnace at my new townhouse doesn't work. Didn't know that before last night when I was like, why the FUCK is it 60 degrees in here??? Fan is on, but the air is coooooold. Its not a furnace so much as another air conditioner.
Now here's what really makes me wonder. As I'm sprinting from the train station to the front door of work, there are people out on the streets trying to push their pablum on me - phamplets telling me that GEORGE BUSH SUCKS or ABORTION IS WRONG or JESUS IS LORD or DON'T LET BABIES DIE...this is Washington DC, people want you to walk *literally* over to your congressman and tell him GEORGE BUSH SUCKS or ABORTION IS WRONG or etc...etc...you get the idea. Ok so its like SIX degrees (I exaggerate because I can) and these people are still out there this morning! I had three different pablum pukers trying, at 7am in the cold, to sway my opinion on serious national and moral issues! I can't believe these people! I must say I have fairly strong beliefs of my own ~ I certainly DONT want babies to die, and maybe George Bush does suck, even though I voted for him ~ but there is NO WAY IN HELL you'd get MY ass out ANYWHERE at 7am in the freezing cold to volunteer to hand out pamphlets expressing ANY belief...national, moral, religious or otherwise. I guess I don't have that kind of conviction. Or maybe I just don't care that much what other people think. I'd rather spend my time sleeping in a warm house (hahha...) than freeze my ass off trying to affect another person's belief system to reflect my own.
Anyhoo, I just found that curious. I also find it curious that they ~ the pablum pukers ~ really believe anyone (esp. someone sprinting to work in the freezing cold at 7am) would grab one of their pamphlets, actually take the time to read it, and have like some major revelation. Like, OMG....they are SOOO right...I thought George Bush was fucking awesome, but now I read this pamphlet and I have to admit, GEORGE BUSH SUCKS (why do I keep writing that in all caps????) Or even more amazing, to say, I didn't see anything wrong with abortion but NOW...now that Ive read THIS PAMPHLET...I am pro-life!! or...OMG ~ JESUS is Lord!!! For the last 40 years I thought ALLAH was Lord!!! OMFG how wrong I was...and how wrong my parents were...how could those HEATHENS have raised me in the Islamic faith??? Praise Jesus I found this pamphlet!!!
Yet they stand out there freezing their asses off hoping to enlighten the masses...
I guess need to make me a pamphlet. I need to get MY pablum out...damn it I have conviction now!! I want to freeze my ass off while changing the world to reflect MY beliefs!!! Now what the hell do I want my pamphlet to say??? Shit its apparantly a pretty powerful document, so I want to make sure I get this right...
My Pamphlet
1. Do onto others as you would wish them to do onto you (that one is an old classic...and you have to believe in the ethics of reciprocity)
2. Let' give ALL individuals the right to pursue their lives as they see fit, as long as they cause no harm to others, with minimal governmental interference.
3. Leave me the fuck alone. LOL. Don't talk to me if you don't know me unless its to say WATCH OUT FOR THAT BUS! and really, really, really DO NOT call me or even worse, touch me. (If only I could get this one to work for real).
4. Bid high on aNGrYGiRL Gear! Hahahah....hey if they can change my entire belief system with a pamphlet...why not capitalize on it too??? ;)
Ok off to work with me...fucking cold in here....
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15 comments:
I have phone phobia. I hate the phone. I only have a cell because we have no house phone *yay* and my husband won't let me away from him without it. I don't answer it tho. I have a special ring set for Jeff, the rest go unanswered. I can't STAND it. Its gut-wrenchingly painful to talk on the phone. Yes, I'm nuts. I'll admit it.
Hello My Name Is Cindy, and I'm fucking insane.
Hey didn't I start out my very first blog with that line? Hmmm funny how things come full circle.
Yeah if number three became a reality, I could almost live without #1 and #2 - that would be utopia and we all know THAT won't happen.
But #4...gotta have #4...mandatory :) LOL
HAHAH I had to go look....
First line, first paragraph...first blog ever:
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Hello...my name is cindy....
and I'm fucking insane. I intended to start this blog today, Thursday...but the gym called my name....and now its time for me to catch the train home. Interesting thing at work today though...
La la la la la
Lets not use the S-word on my blog, please.
:P
Snow Snow Snow Snow.......heheheh. I live in good ole Pennsylvania. In the Pittsburgh Area. Which cindy knows all about ;)
Maybe I should delete my previous comment so cindy doesn't ban me from leaving comments...... Hahah
I have a phone phobia, too! I refused to purchase a wedding cake from someone I had to call. I would only deal with people who had websites and that I could email. Oh, and I had to call the 'Leather Beast' people at home on a Saturday AM - TERRIFYING!' You're not the only insane one.
I remember when you said you had to call that client. That is something that I would have NEVER done. Never. Never. Ugh. Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps. Funny how the dumbest things can lead to a phobia. I'm not afraid of snakes, spiders, sharks *unless one is swimming right behind me*, heights...the standard phobias. But a phone...that shit's like kryptonite. Ugh.
I think the fact that your ex-fucktard lives in Pittsburgh is punishment enough...hahaha...
Give me his email :) I'll make sure he gets on every *adult* mailing list I can find....
Hahahahahahahah....
Nic: I won't ban you from making comments...but I MIGHT take away that delete comment privilege...hahah :)
I defy you to say the S word again...
:)
Still cold here. Ugh.
#3 definitely..you take public transportation have your earphones in and a book so everyone will leave you alone, and some fuckwad who obviously can't read the HUGE leave me the fuck alone sign hanging above your head STILL tries to talk to you...and what earth shattering question do they ask after they spend 5 minutes trying to get your attention...
*what are you reading?*
I'm going to start telling them that it is a step-by-step guide on how to be a serial killer...
then ask if they would like to get together sometime.:)
Haha no shit!! Good idea :) I have the same thing EXCEPT...
When they finally get my attention, and I pause the music, get the headphones off, and say, "Sorry, what?" They say...
I like your hair. Where'd you get that done? How long did it take....??? Blah blah blah...
Fuck. Im gonna get a shirt printed up that says:
I GOT MY HAIR DONE AT PGP. IT TOOK 10 HOURS. YES ~ TEN. YES IT IS HEAVY. ITS 3 1/2 FEET LONG FOR FUCK'S SAKE. IT COST $200. YES THAT IS A LOT OF MONEY. IT LASTS ABOUT 12 WEEKS. NO I DON'T HAVE TO WASH IT OFTEN. YES I STILL GO THE GYM WITH IT. NO IT DOESN'T COME OUT AT NIGHT. YES IT HURTS WHEN YOU FIRST GET IT DONE. YES I DO KNOW HOW TO DO IT MYSELF. NO I WON'T DO YOURS. MY REAL HAIR IS ABOUT 2 INCHES BELOW MY COLLAR. YES MY REAL HAIR IS IN THERE SOMEWHERE. MY REAL HAIR IS DARK BROWN, BUT CURRENTLY DIED BLACK. AND YES I KNOW ITS WEIRD...A WHITE GIRL WEARING A BLACK GIRL'S HAIR STYLE. SO WHAT? WEIRD IS THE POINT...
AND NO...YOU CAN'T TOUCH IT.
oooh i ranted. ooops.
lmao...we should all just get shirts that say LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE in big letters.
But you know some jackass would have to stop you to read it....and then insist on talking to you about it.
Do people just not get it?!?
DO NOT INVADE MY SPACE!
If I wanted to talk to you I would not take the steps I do to keep myself occupied. Or better yet...I would start the conversation with YOU! I do not care what you do for a living or where your going or what T.V. shows you watch or what kind of drama you have with your friends/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/kids. Didn’t your parents teach you NOT to talk to strangers when you were a kid?
Oh and I love this one...
I have to walk about half a mile to my bus stop...EVERY DAY some fuck stops to ask me if I need a ride..then gets pissed if I say no!
Hmmmm...yes I'll get in the car with you...The thought that I am going to end up on a milk carton could not possibly cross my mind because your classy vehicle just screams that you are a safe and wonderful guy that would take me straight to my destination without any kind of incident.
No..I LOVE a man with only 3 teeth...
Of course you can have my phone number..
The fact that you haven't showered in 6 months doesn't bother me at all..
And just to show you how grateful I am that I didn't have to spend a $1.25 on a bus ride today, I'll have sex with you.
Yeah...
I'm absolutely rolling at Moxie's comment...hahahah....I know that guy!!! He tries to pick me up, too! All the time!!
I smell a possible ebay goldmine if someone were to sell LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE shirts :) Hell, I'd buy a few and make straight jackets out of them :)
And I thought he only picked up on me..hahaha:)
I would be all over one of those shirts and a jacket:)
Notice the name change?
. . . . Some guy handed me a pamphlet, and I’ve seen the error of my ways.
Here’s just a little tip. . . When one of those blurry-eyed, brain-washed, automatons tries to hand you a pamphlet, stop, smile at them and then tell them you have at least 30 friends that would really benefit by reading the stuff in their pamphlet. By the time you get to the office, you’ll have about 200 little pieces of kindling that are great for stoking the cozy fire you’ve got going in your “in” box. You can keep that sucker going for at least 3 or 4 hours. Toasty-toes. . . aaaaaahhhhhhhh.
If you don’t want the pamphlets, and you don’t want them to bother you, then when they try to stop you or talk to you . . . hand them your pamphlet describing the therapeutic results of clubbing baby seals. Then say, “Wow! Has anyone ever told you that your face looks just like a baby seal’s?”
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