No...seriously...

I'm tired. I'm tired beyond comprehension. I've not been this tired since graduate school, and that was Carnegie fucking Mellon...if my day to day life is as exhausting as THAT school was, I think its time to rethink.

But what is there to rethink. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

I have not had a vacation...I have not had ONE DAY OFF FROM WORKING in over 6 months. Not one. A few evenings (usually Friday) but thats IT.

Here is my weekly schedule:

wake up, go to work, work out, come home, work, go to bed, wake up, go to work, work out, come home, work, go to bed, wake up, go to work, work out, come home, work, go to bed, wake up, go to work, work out, come home, work, go to bed, wake up, go to work, work out, come home, shop for fabric, go out to eat, get drunk, go to bed.

Here is my weekend schedule:

wake up, work, go to bed, wake up, work, go to bed.

Anyone who thinks this is an exaggeration can fuck right off and die. How I wish it was a fucking exaggeration. Im so fucking tired I cant see straight. Im actually amazed I can still sew straight. Take a nice close look at the pictures of me on ebay. See the pasty complexion? Thats NOT goth makeup. See the bags under the eyes? Shrinkle doesn't sell makeup that can do that. Its all natural. Its called exhaustion.

It must be nice to be one of those ebay sellers who can rely on their auction earnings for their full income. Ill never be that seller, I've been a full grown adult with waaaay too much credit and waaaay too much income for too many years to be able to survive without a job. I own a house, cars, motorcycles...I've inflated my life and expenses to the point where a full time day job is always going to be a necessity (unless I somehow luck into marrying Johnny Depp...hahah).

But it must also be nice to make enough money from auctions to be able to NOT have to sew every day, to NOT have to have listings running ALL THE TIME, to NOT have to work your ass off all week (after working a day job) at top speed to try to get new listings out, all the while trying to be creative and do new things AND still maintain top quality in your product. I suppose these ebayers get to spend time with their familes, get to spend time with their significant others....get to leave the FUCKING HOUSE??? and go outside in the summer.

But I am not one of those ebayers either...I'm just a girl with a family trying to survive what has to be far and away the WORST financial crisis we have ever faced. Thank god I had the ebay business up and running before our shit hit the fucking fan...or we'd be long sunk by now.

The truth is , the cruise ship already sank. Now I'm slowly killing myself trying to bail the water out of our leaky lifeboat...with a leaky bucket...and both holes are just getting bigger. And there's a big shark circling.

Well at any rate, I will still be listing my leaky buckets...er uh...garments...regardless. Desperate times call for desperate measures. There really isn't any rethinking to be done.