A Boring Blog Entry

The battle with the bulge continues...for the moment, I appear to be winning. I've lost 4.25 pounds in 18 days (yes .25...the scale is too heavy at the full pound mark, and too light at the half pound mark...I'm taking my goddamn quarter pound...I earned it). My subgoal for tomorrow is 131 pounds, but I don't think I'm gonna get there, as thats 1.75 pounds down. I know my body, at 137, it says WHOA IM FAT...and sheds the pounds fast. at 132 it says WHOA IM STARVIN' and starts holding on to the weight for dear life. Getting under 130 is going to take some serious doing. And I want to drink Friday night, too...that will set me back a pound.

I was so proud of myself last night, I was tense and stressing...trying to get a listing done so I could go to bed...and I resisted the urge to drink to relieve the stress. Instead I just pulled out all my hair (hehe just kidding...I think). The husband was even on his way to the liquor store, asking me what I wanted and I stuck to my guns. I wanted to drink SOOOO BAD. Didn't :) One small victory in the battle of the bulge.

Its hard for me, tho. Unlike so many other americans, for whom a simple diet change and a weekly exercise regimen would set them on a good path to weight loss, I was already on that path when I decided to lose more weight. I can't just change my diet and start going to the gym and expect to see results in a month. While I admit my diet needed altering (eating well 90% of the day doesnt mean SHIT when you totally fuck up what you put in your mouth the other 10% of the time...salad, fruit, lean meat and veggies followed by 2 donuts and 3 cookies and 4 alcoholic beverages doesn't make for a good dietary plan), I was (and still am lol) a regular gym rat. So I don't have the easy out of going to the gym 3 or 4 times a week for a better me...I was already doing that and getting the maximum benefit I could from it. So I've had to up my gym time to 5 days a week. Which means I have to go on a weekend day *AGH* when I'm usually quite content to sit on my ass in front of a sewing machine.

And whoever said excercise gives you energy was full of shit. It makes me tired. It makes my body hurt...esp my legs, after sitting on the stationary bike or using the elliptical machine for 45 minutes, then having to hike to the train immediately thereafter...some days im dragging myself home, using my teeth to pull myself along. I always fall asleep on the train ride home now. Havent missed my stop yet LOL waiting for that to happen. Wake up in freaking Rockville MD or some shit, an hour from home...drool all over myself...sore throat from snoring...hahaha.

Then there's always the issue of maintenance. Sure I can take 5 weeks and lose 15ish pounds...get down to where I want to be...but can I maintain it? Is it physically possible for my body to even be that low in weight? Dunno. These are the questions that have no answers. I do think 125 is a fair weight for me. For my height and age (the damn age thing bumps you up like 5 pounds in the acceptable weight chart...bah) I should weigh between 130 and 145, something like that...but I am a small boned girl. I have been at 115 before (as a full grown adult, when I was 27/28 ish years old) but I was also riding my moutain bike 10 miles a day 7 days a week. I don't have the time for that kind of cardiovascular activity any more. Although it would be fun to get back on the bike and hit some dirt trails again *literally...lol* I am also extremely muscular...and muscle weighs quite a bit...so I also have to take that into consideration. I don't care to lose my muscular development, although the bulkiness makes it hard to find clothes that fit, esp in the arms. My arms are unreal *for a girl ~ haha theyre pretty lame for a guy, although I have seen a lot of guys with smaller arms than mine...heh* They'd look a lot more unreal at 125 pounds...I'd be leaner and the musculature would show even better.

Well, anyway that was a dull blog entry. No one said they'd all be winners :)